A Note: This is going to be my first post here. It is a dream from May 6, 2016. At the time, I was still in Toronto after having quit my job to travel. To travel the world and get some clarity on the direction of my life. I was struggling to maintain some sort of structure in my daily life.

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Girlfriend Problems on a Bus

It is late in the afternoon. The sun is about to set. I am on a bus with my girlfriend, Syn. We are part of a bigger group with some people from my school and other strangers.

The bus tickets I bought earlier came with with a few gold coins. I can’t find the gold coins. Syn tells me that she has put away all the gold coins in a bag somewhere. There is only one gold coin outside and she gives it to me. This feels weird. I am close to Syn yet something about this situation nags at me. I am not sure what it is.

Prasad sir (a chemistry teacher from my high school, SRS) is the bus conductor. We have to walk to the front of the bus and show our tickets to him. I show one of my gold coins in lieu of the ticket. That is proof enough that I have a ticket. Syn goes next and convinces Prasad sir that she has a valid ticket even though she has neither the ticket nor the gold coin. I suspect that she is hiding something.

I ask her for the coins again. She sounds exasperated and begrudgingly, she takes the coins out. She gives me six coins. I seem to remember having eight gold coins. What happened to the other two? I am suspicious about it but I later realize that there were only six.

Yet there is still something about Syn that bothers me. I don’t know what it is but I act as though I am cool about it. I want to probe her more but I don’t. I don’t want to be the nagging boyfriend.

A Tunnel Will be Your Salvation

Early in the morning, the bus slows down as we reach our destination. We are on top of a mountain. Both sides of the road is surrounded by a four feet wall. The wall is thick and made up of stones and rocks.

The bus eventually comes to a stop in the middle of a thick forest. In front of us is a big white arch of a palace. There are trees on the left side. The wall on the left side runs along the road to the arch and beyond. It marks the campus of the palace that is up ahead beyond the archway. There is a small shed like room a few feet away from the wall within the campus. On the right side of the road is a steep valley overlooking a sea with its white beach.

Having reached our destination, we all cheer. We run down in excitement. We cannot wait to unload our bags. Then I see it. Out in the woods, within the palace, there is something lurking in the shadows.

In a small clearing in the forest, a tiger like creature stands. It is white in color with majestic horns. It is little taller than a regular tiger. It looks like Bubastis, a mutant lynx from the graphic novel, The Watchmen. It stands there. Alert and vigilant. Ready to pounce any minute. My heart starts beating fast. I panic for a moment. What do I do? How do I escape this imminent danger? Everything slows down.

I hear people scream. There is a mad dash. People start running blindly all over the place. The group breaks into three.  After a moment of shock, I snap out of it. I immediately start running with a specific target. I jump over the wall on the left and enter the shed beside the wall. One other person follows me. I explore the room for weapons.

I find a gun, a rifle, and a flame gun. We carry the arms and walk down a tunnel in the shed for a few minutes. It brings us to a closet.  As I open the closet door, I am relieved to find myself in a bedroom of a palace. The room obviously belongs to a girl. It has women’s clothes in the closet.  There are lot of shoes, shiny and pink, lying in one of the drawers. There are posters of handsome actors on the wall. The room has a hint of fragrant jasmine perfume.

The door swings open and in walks a dangerous cat. It is a different one. This one is black and mean. I shoot it. Is it dead? I don’t know. But my focus is elsewhere now. No time to think. Because I noticed a snake. A big one. Out in the hallway of the palace. How do I save myself? How do I kill it? Can I shoot it? No. I use the flame gun instead.

It is not a typical snake. It is a snake with super powers. Each unburnt part of the snake turns into a new snake. Even a small sliver, a tiny microscopic part will grow into a new snake. It freaks me out. I am shaking with fear. My heart pounds. I have to destroy it before the number of snakes get out of control. I try and burn all of them with my flame gun.

I walk out of the hallway. I need to come up with the plan to reach others. My companion follows me. He has a small piece of snake stuck on his shirt. A small snake starts growing in there.

A New Leader. A New Plan.

I decide to take control of the situation. I have the knowledge about what is going on. How will I reach the other two groups? Where are they? They must be in the forest behind somewhere where I left them. How do I coordinate with them? I can’t go out in the open. It is too dangerous. The place is teeming with all sorts of wild animals.

I search the palace and find a mic and a loudspeaker. I announce my plan over the loudspeaker. I ask everybody to take the tunnel through the shed and assemble in the palace.

Next, I go to the top of the palace with my sniper gun. I am not happy about shooting the animals. The place feels like a natural park. But I am left with no choice but shoot them to save the people. When I get on top of the palace, I find fake bullets. The kind I can use to tranquilize the animals and make them sleep. This is a big break for me. I start shooting the animals, one at a time.

The Aftermath

It has been a day or two since the incident. I feel it is now safe to venture back out in the open. I find that one of the groups has been brutally killed. There is blood everywhere. People’s limbs are scattered around the place. I can’t stomach the scenery. It is too much to take in. I take a deep breath. I calm myself. I have to move on. Go find the survivors of the third group. I have to do this as a leader. It is up to me to get the group together now.

[ And where is Syn? I haven’t seen her since the time we got here. Have you? ]

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Commentry

Man! I can’t seem get away from Syn. She was one of my first girlfriends and I keep seeing her repeatedly in my dreams. I consciously know that I am over her but she keeps showing up. I think she has now come to represent my own feminine side (anima) within my psyche.

I think the first part of the dream with Syn is showing my own incapability of being able to understand women. I want to be able to logically rationalize their behavior but I can’t. The dream, at least the first part, is my struggle with it.